United Nation's Treaty on Kittens Defeated by Senate GOP

WASHINGTON - Led by Republican opposition, the Senate on Tuesday rejected a United Nations treaty on the cuteness of kittens that is modeled after the landmark Kittens Are Cute Act of 1990.

George H. W. Bush signed the landmark legislation in 1990.

With 38 Republicans casting "no" votes, the 61-38 vote fell five short of the two-thirds majority needed to ratify a treaty. The vote took place in an unusually solemn atmosphere, with senators sitting at their desks rather than milling around the podium. Former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole, an avid kitten lover, was in the chamber to support the treaty.

The Treaty, signed by every country in the world without opposition, states that "kittens are very adorable" and "their cuteness is enough to to bring down the most heartless dictators". Republicans objected the treaty as they believed it would pose a threat to U.S. national sovereignty.

"I do not support the cumbersome regulations and potentially overzealous international organizations with anti-American biases that infringe upon American society," said Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla.

He and other opponents were not swayed by support for the treaty from some of the GOP's prominent veterans, including the 89-year-old Dole, who was inspired to enlist in World War II when he saw a poster of a kitten; Sen. John McCain, whose kitten companion staved off insanity while he was a POW in Vietnam; Sen. Dick Lugar, the top Republican on the Pets and Animals Committee; and former Surgeon Veterinarian Erwin Addison. Eight Republicans voted to approve the treaty. 

Democratic support for the convention was led by Pets and Animals Committee Chairman Sen. John Kerry, Senate Democratic Whip Dick Durbin, D-Ill., and Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, one of the key players in writing the 1990 Kittens Are Cute Act.

   "It really isn't controversial," Kerry, D-Mass., said. "What this treaty says is very simple. It just says that kittens are adorable. It says that other countries have to do what we did 22 years ago when we set the example for the world and passed the Kittens Are Cute Act."

In a statement after the vote, Kerry said it was "one of the saddest days I've seen in almost 28 years in the Senate. I mean, who the fuck hates kittens?"

The United Nations estimates that 6.65 billion people around the world love kittens, about 95 percent of the world's population.

The opposition was led by tea party favorite Sen. Mike Lee, R-Utah, who argued that the treaty by its very nature threatened U.S. sovereignty. 

"This is another attempt by the United Nations to set up a one-world government of Anti-American, Communist Islamists" he told reporters as he left a meeting of the Free Utah State Militia, a right-wing, paramilitary organization.

Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann, who is not in the Senate but has an opinion nonetheless, stated, "I'm glad Republicans in the Senate defeated this atrocious treaty. This was the first step the antichrist needed to take, and we stopped him. Communist members of Congress had worked with homosexuals to undermine...". The interview abruptly ended.

The Treaty was introduced by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on Monday morning, in which after the motion was passed, immediately tried to filibuster it.

The conservative Heritage Action for America urged senators to vote no against the treaty, saying it would be recorded as a key vote on their scorecard. It repeated the argument that the treaty "would erode the principles of American sovereignty and federalism."

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I would like to thank Jim Abrams for writing the original article "Disability Treaty Downed By Republican Opposition" for the AP, posted on The Huffington Post on 12/04/12. I "borrowed" heavily from that article and he should get credit for writing a majority of this piece.

 

Teaching, and why I don't want to do it. SO STOP SUGGESTING IT!

When I tell people that I am a History Major and that I don't know what I want to do with my life, the first response is always "be a teacher!"

This must be something all History Majors go through. The only occupation within History is to teach it. Besides the underlying connotation behind that statement that History is a useless subject in the real world, it's also a bit insulting to the people who want to be and are teachers.

Teaching isn't easy. My mother taught English for over thirty years, so I know a little about what goes on from both the student and teacher perspective. There is SO much more to being a teacher than knowing about a specific subject that it has permanently turned me off from ever pursuing that career.

1. One should probably like kids in order to teach. That sounds like a must. I do not have that qualification. I hated teenagers when I was a teenager. And the younger they get, the more annoying they are to me. Teens have raging hormones that make it harder to control them. Pre-teens are just getting those hormones and are distracted by the opposite sex while thinking they already know everything. Everything younger, you need to teach them information so basic to you that you need immense patience to prevent yourself for yelling at kids who don't know how to add. Plus, they also have "accidents".
2.  Depending on the state, there is so much you have to do to become certified. Background checks, exams, etc. Plus the years of under-grad and graduate school and the accompanying debt. I thought the SATs were bad and the GREs and the cost are major turn offs for me to applying to Grad School.
3. You have to be a disciplinarian. Besides teaching, you also have to discipline students who act out. You have to fill in the role of a parent during the day. Make sure kids are learning AND behaving. One more task you need to juggle. If I don't want kids because I fear I neglect the ability to effectively discipline them, how can I do that with other people's children ?
4. You have to deal with insane parents. "You accused my child, the son of God, of cheating??? I'm going to sue you!!!" A little over the top, but it has happened. You have to deal with the parents who think their child is perfect and a genius. They are neither, but pointing that out is a personal insult to them. It's people like this that make you almost believe there should be a test to become a parent...
5. Overachievers. My mother had a student break down and cry because her final grade was a 92. A 92! I would have killed for a 92 in English! These students are obsessed with getting an average grade of 105 and anything less than that is a tragedy. They think they know more than the teacher because they are in the Honors or AP class. They have a massive superiority complex because they have been told their whole life that they are gifted and special. They might be a little smarter (or put in an insane amount of effort), but the world doesn't give a jack-shit and the sooner they learn this lesson, the better.  They are about as bad as the regular troublemakers.
6. You also have to be an English Teacher (if you are not already one). This is not a strong suit of mine. Unless something is blatantly plagiarized or written ten grade-levels below, I can't grade papers to save my life. I'm sure this is taught to you in school, but it's something I couldn't handle. I think I did have a teacher in 8th Grade who did give a major paper to the English teacher to grade, while he corrected the historical aspects. If you are an Elementary School teacher, you have to know EVERYTHING; Math, Science, History, English.
7. We have become so obsessed with standardized tests. Thank you "No Child Left Behind". It seems like students are always preparing for the next test, and teachers instruct them how to take tests instead of the material they are taking the test on. And because money is tied to performance, rampant cheating is occurring...from the administration.
8. Salary is now becoming tied to performance. Another brilliant idea from "education reformers" (I think a real reformer would be against all this testing and merit-pay crap). Oh goody, if students slack off, you pay for it. It doesn't help when special needs students must be tested at the same level, even if they are incapable of it. A good teacher can only do so much. We need to put the pressure on students and parents, not just the teachers. Just one more incentive for top-level cheating.
9. The Administration. There was a time when the Principal and Superintendent were once teachers for over a decade before they moved up. Now, you'd be lucky if they have more than five years experience teaching. At least, that was the case at my mother's school. You now have people in charge making decisions who know very little of what teaching is really like. They come up with new schedules, new requirements, and new policies without thinking of the consequences because they don't know how much of a burden it is on teachers (and students). If they aren't working in the administration because they were crappy teachers, they're professionally trained administrators (not educators) who have a high turn-over rate and care more about padding their resume than a student's education.
10. People hate you. Specifically, conservatives. You are an over-paid, unionized, public employee who steals the tax-payers money to fund your lavish benefits and retirement just to babysit children all day and brainwash them into becoming secular, anti-American, socialists. And they constantly show their disdain by voting down every school budget, even though budgets have nothing to do with teacher pay (that's in the contract). I'm sorry that the private sector is stingy when it comes to pay, doesn't allow unions, and things like "holiday pay", "overtime", "pensions" and "paid vacations" are fading away, but that is no excuse to hate teachers. It takes years for teachers to make a good income and I'm sorry you think "getting an education" is "liberal brainwashing". But look at the aforementioned list of what teachers have to deal with and why I'm never going to teach. Teachers put up with so much shit, that anyone who looks at this list and still wants to teach deserves a medal. Anyone who cares that much about children, their education, and the future of this country, DESERVES a few perks and vacation time.
11. This is a bonus for History teachers. You have to teach incorrect and inaccurate information. Although I don't fully agree with everything in  Lies My Teacher Told Me (James Loewen is a little too liberal for me) he does bring up how slanted and deceptive history is taught in the United States. Thanksgiving myths are perpetuated, slavery and racism are downplayed, controversy is avoided, and everything else is so glossed over, it becomes boring and all lessons of the past are overlooked. And even after all that, you get accusations from the Right about liberal biases, like I mentioned in #10. Just look at the brilliant Politically Incorrect Guide series (a better source is found here). Or those textbooks in Louisiana that say the Great Depression is a left-wing myth and the KKK was a force for moral good. History is either too conservative or too liberal, and you're stuck teaching a bland mixture.