Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Sexist, Racist, Anti-Labor Retail Store under Fire for using “Happy Holidays”.



ATLANTA - National retail chain, Arme’s (NYSE: ARS) currently being investigated by the US Justice Department for racist hiring practices, has come under fire for using the phrase “Happy Holidays” in its over 3,000 US stores. 

The Atlanta-based company, facing a sex discrimination suit from over 5,000 former and current female employees, recently made the change that will go in effect this November.

Director of Marketing, Toni Sticks, and currently awaiting trial for insider trading explained, “We are trying to make our stores open and welcoming to all of our 200,000 daily customers, regardless of belief.”

But many see this as yet another store bowing to the pressure political correction.

Head of the American Family Association, Jeremy Arschloch, has called for a boycott of Arme’s, in which fewer than a quarter of employees have any health benefits and over half require public assistance programs to get by. “The censorship of the word ‘Christmas’ by this store is yet another battle in the War on Christmas. The use of ‘Happy Holidays’ is an affront to the good Christian people of this nation. I urge everyone to boycott this store at once!”

“It’s one thing to allow a dozen employees to die in a warehouse fire because of the lack of a functioning sprinkler system and various other violations of the fire code,” stated Mary Annadale, a frequent shopper of Arme’s, “but this fear of ‘offending’ someone has gone too far. I might have to think about shopping somewhere else.”

Arnold Arme, the president of the company, grandson of the original founder, and financial supporter to a right-wing militia known for killing a Lansing, MI police officer, said he was currently rethinking the company’s decision because of the backlash.