United Nation's Treaty on Kittens Defeated by Senate GOP

WASHINGTON - Led by Republican opposition, the Senate on Tuesday rejected a United Nations treaty on the cuteness of kittens that is modeled after the landmark Kittens Are Cute Act of 1990.

George H. W. Bush signed the landmark legislation in 1990.

With 38 Republicans casting "no" votes, the 61-38 vote fell five short of the two-thirds majority needed to ratify a treaty. The vote took place in an unusually solemn atmosphere, with senators sitting at their desks rather than milling around the podium. Former Senate Majority Leader Bob Dole, an avid kitten lover, was in the chamber to support the treaty.

The Treaty, signed by every country in the world without opposition, states that "kittens are very adorable" and "their cuteness is enough to to bring down the most heartless dictators". Republicans objected the treaty as they believed it would pose a threat to U.S. national sovereignty.

"I do not support the cumbersome regulations and potentially overzealous international organizations with anti-American biases that infringe upon American society," said Sen. Jim Inhofe, R-Okla.

He and other opponents were not swayed by support for the treaty from some of the GOP's prominent veterans, including the 89-year-old Dole, who was inspired to enlist in World War II when he saw a poster of a kitten; Sen. John McCain, whose kitten companion staved off insanity while he was a POW in Vietnam; Sen. Dick Lugar, the top Republican on the Pets and Animals Committee; and former Surgeon Veterinarian Erwin Addison. Eight Republicans voted to approve the treaty. 

Democratic support for the convention was led by Pets and Animals Committee Chairman Sen. John Kerry, Senate Democratic Whip Dick Durbin, D-Ill., and Sen. Tom Harkin, D-Iowa, one of the key players in writing the 1990 Kittens Are Cute Act.

   "It really isn't controversial," Kerry, D-Mass., said. "What this treaty says is very simple. It just says that kittens are adorable. It says that other countries have to do what we did 22 years ago when we set the example for the world and passed the Kittens Are Cute Act."

In a statement after the vote, Kerry said it was "one of the saddest days I've seen in almost 28 years in the Senate. I mean, who the fuck hates kittens?"

The United Nations estimates that 6.65 billion people around the world love kittens, about 95 percent of the world's population.

The opposition was led by tea party favorite Sen. Mike Lee, R-Utah, who argued that the treaty by its very nature threatened U.S. sovereignty. 

"This is another attempt by the United Nations to set up a one-world government of Anti-American, Communist Islamists" he told reporters as he left a meeting of the Free Utah State Militia, a right-wing, paramilitary organization.

Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann, who is not in the Senate but has an opinion nonetheless, stated, "I'm glad Republicans in the Senate defeated this atrocious treaty. This was the first step the antichrist needed to take, and we stopped him. Communist members of Congress had worked with homosexuals to undermine...". The interview abruptly ended.

The Treaty was introduced by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell on Monday morning, in which after the motion was passed, immediately tried to filibuster it.

The conservative Heritage Action for America urged senators to vote no against the treaty, saying it would be recorded as a key vote on their scorecard. It repeated the argument that the treaty "would erode the principles of American sovereignty and federalism."

-

I would like to thank Jim Abrams for writing the original article "Disability Treaty Downed By Republican Opposition" for the AP, posted on The Huffington Post on 12/04/12. I "borrowed" heavily from that article and he should get credit for writing a majority of this piece.