Thursday, May 24, 2012

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

May 23, 2012

I think I need to give my therapist a call.

I'm a wreck. I'm tense as hell. My heart is racing. I've had a panic attack every day for the last three days. Five in the month of May. I cry every day. I feel like since early April, I have been getting worse.

The future is a big void of nothing. It scares the fuck out of me.

I'm told that fear is natural, but you can't let it get in the way. I have no idea how to control fear. I am handicapped and crippled by my fears. And that keeps me depressed.

Since I have started taking my medication, I have been fighting my therapist at every step. I have become much more negative and pessimistic. I hate myself so damn much. I go out of my way to criticize me and put myself down.

I don't know what the point is of writing this. I want people to know this, but at the same time, I feel like I am ruining everybody's day. Like I am this huge burden to everyone I know. I'm sorry.

I feel like there is no way out. I'm driving myself mad. I feel like I am going to snap or break soon. I'm not meant for this world. I can't do it. I wish I was dead.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Once again, I present the Numbers Game


So, I recently saw this on Facebook. As much as I do think these people are overpaid, their salaries aren’t bankrupting us. As some of you know, I hate the numbers game. This is another distortion and omission of facts designed to sway your opinion. Notice how they don’t mention how many people are receiving each. I actually looked up who gets what and how much it costs us each year. Let us look, shall we?

Living Retired Presidents receiving $450,000 a year (1) = $450,000 a year.

Living Presidents making $200,000 a year (3) = $600,000 a year.

Total Presidential salary expense = $1,050,000 a year.

(George W. Bush was the first President to be paid $450K a year and is the only retired President to receive that. The other Presidents receive $200K a year)

Five former and One current Speaker of the House (6) at $223,500 per year = $1,341,000.

535 current members of Congress at $174,000 = $93,090,000.

20 Leaders at $194,400 = $3,888,000.

Total Congressional salary costs per year = $98,319,000.

(Admittedly, some people are being counted more than once. For example, Nancy Pelosi is a former Speaker of the House, Current Congresswoman, and House Minority Leader. I did not look up how much she is making and I did not remove overlaps from the equation. The number is most likely higher than it should be. I also did not look up how many former Congressman there are and how much they are being paid.)

39,472,928 Americans 65 or older.

$12,000 per person a year = $473,675,136,000 a year on Social Security.

99,000 soldiers in Afghanistan.

$38,000 per person a year = $3,762,000,000.

Total = $477,473,136,000

So, to compare: The Presidency and Congress are costing Americans roughly $100 Million a year. Social Security and Salaries for Active-Duty Soldiers in Afghanistan cost Americans about $477 Billion a year.

I know Congress is the typical punching bag, but they are not bankrupting America with their salaries. Bitching about Congress is a distraction from the real issues of rising medical costs and an aging population. We need real reforms to the system to combat the rising debt and growing financial instability of entitlement programs. Complaining about the $100 million spent on Congress when we have a $1.5 Billion dollar budget deficit does us no good.