Time for…Unsolved Mysteries
(play this as you read the blog)
The other day, I was doing my usual job. Open box, organize bags of mutilated animals by their number, write it down, put back in box. After organizing one group of animals, I went to get my knife to open the next box.
It was gone.
I turned my workstation upside down looking for it. Under every bag, paper, box. It had simply vanished. After swearing under my breath I stole the knife used to cut bubble wrap. After opening another two boxes, I found my table had become a bit crowded. I then proceeded to move one of the first rows I had put on the table and the row that I had searched at least three times. I moved it over by two inches.
The knife reappeared. It was right in the open, right in the middle. It could not have possibly been under those bags. The place the knife was could not have been under the recently moved row of animals. I looked at it for a moment a little scared. I picked it up and opened the next box.
I don’t usually believe in ghosts or any of that, but what the hell? How did I miss a knife right in the open? I have had two other experiences like this.
One time, I returned home from Wendy’s. With my half empty (half full?) drink in my hand, I tripped going up the stairs from the garage into the pantry. Yes, I tripped going up the stairs. As I fell I lost a hold of my drink. It flew in front of my and disappeared. Where did it go? We found it in my mom’s purse. She was standing behind me!
I do theorize that possibly the jerking of my arm caused it to bounce backward and the suddenness made it looked like it fell forward. All I know is that the next story has no explanation.
In Eighth Grade, we had Assignment Books. This is where we were supposed to write down our homework assignments (hence “Assignment Book”), and this is also where our hall passes were kept (we were given so many a month and we needed the teacher to sign them). At the beginning of the day, I was unpacking my backpack. Because I am awkward and clumsy, I lost my hold and my note books, textbook and my assignment book placed on top and they fell to the ground. Like my Wendy’s drink (it was Cherry Coke. I always get a Cherry Coke at Wendy’s), I watched it fall to the ground, and it disappeared.
Where did it go? There weren’t many people around, so they couldn’t have taken it or blocked my view. I went crazy looking for it. Defeated, I went to my first class. After hours of moping and wondering how I would ever go to the bathroom again without a hall pass, I went to Technology Class (The classic term “Shop Class” is no longer used. Just like “English” became “Language Arts” and “Gym" became “Physical Education”). After sitting down, my teacher approached me with my assignment book. He said he found it outside his room that morning. I guess someone did kick it down the hall that morning and I didn’t notice it, Right?
I lost my Assignment Book on the first floor. The Tech Class was in the basement. It needed to be kicked down a hallway, make a few turns, down another hall way, down some narrow stairs, and turned another time. Either that, or I have discovered some sort of spontaneous wormhole. I usually poo poo supernatural things, but this time I prefer to believe the batshit crazy stuff.
You know what would be really crazy? If the Westborough Baptist Church protested Elizabeth Edwards’ funeral because of her support of Gay Marriage!
No. No. No No No No No No No NOOOOOOO!
Man, Unsolved Mysteries was probably the most unnerving thing I ever watched as a kid...
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