Thoughts on the “new” list of demands by Occupy Wall Street.

This “Occupy Wall Street” movement is providing so much fodder for me. My fondness has been a roller coaster of emotions. First I was unsure. Then I was hopeful and optimistic. Now I have a simmering dislike for it. I’m getting sick of talking about it and having it on my mind. Hopefully, this will be the last time I discuss this for a while.

After seeing a debate on Facebook from an old high school friend, I was directed to this “new” list of demands. It is “new” in the sense that I just discovered it. I don’t know if it came after the other one or not. Also, it's been out for about a month.

I want to go over it point by point, demand by demand. The first paragraph in response to the demand will be about the issue addressed. The second paragraph will be an analysis of language, spelling, syntax, and things of that nature when applicable.

Here we go:

Demand one: Restoration of the living wage. This demand can only be met by ending "Freetrade" by re-imposing trade tariffs on all imported goods entering the American market to level the playing field for domestic family farming and domestic manufacturing as most nations that are dumping cheap products onto the American market have radical wage and environmental regulation advantages. Another policy that must be instituted is raise the minimum wage to twenty dollars an hr.

I support a living wage. I’m not sure if tariffs are a good idea. I believe that they do more long term harm. As evident during the Great Depression, nations raised their tariffs and international trade fell, hurting the economy more. Twenty dollars an hour is a bit excessive and it contradicts wanting a “living wage” which is about $10 to $12 an hour. It was a wage that I could live comfortably on. I’m not exactly sure how a living wage connects with free trade.

Grammatically, the last sentence is odd. Also, “freetrade” is two words, not one. I know a spelling error is minor, but you don’t look serious if you can’t spell what you’re mad at. Maybe it was an innocent typo.

Demand two: Institute a universal single payer healthcare system. To do this all private insurers must be banned from the healthcare market as their only effect on the health of patients is to take money away from doctors, nurses and hospitals preventing them from doing their jobs and hand that money to wall st. investors.

Universal Healthcare has its pros and cons. Explain them to us and show us why the good outweighs the bad. Explain how it is constitutional as that is one of the major criticisms of Universal Healthcare. Also explain how it would be funded and how it won’t contribute to the deficit/debt.

Stop abbreviating. Don’t use run-on sentences.

Demand three: Guaranteed living wage income regardless of employment.

I thought this was addressed in the first demand…

Demand four: Free college education.

Another demand that sounds pretty good. Describe why higher education is a right. With the demand of Universal Healthcare, explain how it will be funded and won’t contribute to the deficit/debt.

Demand five: Begin a fast track process to bring the fossil fuel economy to an end while at the same bringing the alternative energy economy up to energy demand.

I disagree with a “fast track” process of getting the US off of fossil fuels. I agree that we need to transition towards cleaner and renewable sources of energy, but it should be a slower process. We need to let our nation accommodate to a green-only energy supply as to avoid massive economic disruptions. The US should be spending more money on renewable energy as we will inevitably run out of oil and coal.

Sentence feels a little like a run-on. It definitely should be broken up into two sentences. I am a little confused with the end of the sentence. I think it is because of its redundancy. If you are going to rid the country of oil, you should replace it with an alternative energy to meet “energy demand”.

Demand six: One trillion dollars in infrastructure (Water, Sewer, Rail, Roads and Bridges and Electrical Grid) spending now.

Another demand I think is reasonable. We do need to fix and upgrade the nation’s infrastructure.

I’m not sure if assigning a number is necessary. Do we need exactly $1 Trillion for our infrastructure? Do we need more? How about “An adequate investment into infrastructure”? I don’t know if you need to give me examples of infrastructure, I know what it means.

Demand seven: One trillion dollars in ecological restoration planting forests, reestablishing wetlands and the natural flow of river systems and decommissioning of all of America's nuclear power plants.

As much as I love saving and preserving the environment, what place does this have here? I think the focus should be on the economy for now. If you tied it in with creating jobs, maybe it could work. I don’t like Nuclear Power either, but this may not be the best time to bring this up.

We have another run-on sentence. The part about shutting down Nuclear Power plants (I have no idea why I like capitalizing those words) should be in a separate sentence or in a whole different demand. Again, do we really need to specify the amount to be spent on this?

Demand eight: Racial and gender equal rights amendment.

I really disagree with the need for an Equal Rights Amendment. I believe we have enough laws, both Federal and State, on the books and enough judicial precedence to guarantee and enforce gender equality. I am sure there are still gaps, but an Amendment will not fill them (especially the very shortly worded ERA). The laws designed to enforce the Amendment will fill the gap. All we need are laws, not an Amendment. I do understand why people would want to have it on the books and in the Constitution. I would not oppose ratification and passage of the ERA. On regards to the “Racial equality Amendment” we have that. It’s called the 14^th Amendment. I know many in the movement think that it has only been used to protect corporations (it has), but it has also been, and can be, used to protect people.

Demand nine: Open borders migration. anyone can travel anywhere to work and live.

In an age of terrorism, I don’t think I want completely open borders. Also, that would be more of an international issue. I think this is referring to illegal immigration, in which case, go into more details! Provide a comprehensive plan of worker visas or something. Define “anyone”. Define “anywhere”. This needs to be more thoroughly explained.

Capitalize “Anyone”. Is it really that hard to right-click on a word with error lines under it and select the correct word? A little bit of effort, people. When I’m getting distracted by spelling mistakes, I’m missing your overall message.

Demand ten: Bring American elections up to international standards of a paper ballot precinct counted and recounted in front of an independent and party observers system.

I’m not sure what America’s standards are. Compare and contrast our system with the international standard. Elections are important to a strong democratic nation like us. I do distrust electronic voting machines. An overhaul or reform of the system is not a bad idea.

Sentence sounds awkward.

Demand eleven: Immediate across the board debt forgiveness for all. Debt forgiveness of sovereign debt, commercial loans, home mortgages, home equity loans, credit card debt, student loans and personal loans now! All debt must be stricken from the "Books." World Bank Loans to all Nations, Bank to Bank Debt and all Bonds and Margin Call Debt in the stock market including all Derivatives or Credit Default Swaps, all 65 trillion dollars of them must also be stricken from the "Books." And I don't mean debt that is in default, I mean all debt on the entire planet period.

This demand sounds disastrous. Are you suggesting that the government acquires all the debt? Because that would greatly increase the National debt, and that would be “not good”. Multiplying the national debt by over 5.5 overnight might cause some problems! If you mean that all debt is forgiven, everyone starts with a clean slate, and it all simply vanishes, I’m sure the money supply will be greatly destabilized. You can’t remove that much and expect things to be fine. Also, this would encourage reckless spending. If you could spend without care knowing that it could just vanish without any repercussions, what is going to stop the average American, Corporation, or Bank from spending their money foolishly? Also, the US doesn’t control ALL of the world’s money as indicated in the last sentence. This is probably the most poorly thought out demand on the list.

It is probably the worst written on the list too. Is there a reason “books” is in quotations? The last sentences sounds much more casual than the rest of the list. Was it necessary to dramatically end the sentence with “…I mean all debt on the entire planet [,] period.”? I feel like that person who wrote the first list of demands has made a writing cameo.

Demand twelve: Outlaw all credit reporting agencies.

What are credit reporting agencies? Why are they bad? Explain!

Demand thirteen: Allow all workers to sign a ballot at any time during a union organizing campaign or at any time that represents their yeah or nay to having a union represent them in collective bargaining or to form a union.

I don’t know much about unions, but I do have an issue here. Am I to take it that they are asking to end the secret ballot, at least, when it comes to union voting? Why? I thought the secret ballot was a step forward for democracy. This seems to be a thing with unions that I don’t fully understand. I think the movement should clarify this demand and I think the reader should explain this to me.

Maybe it is because this is yet another run-on sentence, but I am confused as to what they are asking for in this demand. Commas are you friend! You can separate ideas into more than one sentence.

 These demands will create so many jobs it will be completely impossible to fill them without an open borders policy.

Okay, this is a very bold statement. Especially as you have not done anything to show that these demands would create “many jobs”. Explain to me how outlawing credit agencies will create jobs. Also, you do not need to reiterate the need for open borders. That was covered in the ninth demand.

If I had to give this a grade, I would give it a “D”. The "first" one would have been a “D+”. Some demands are unreasonable. Some aren't described in enough detail. Some demands go beyond Wall Street. It's not focused. In fact, this becomes less detailed than the first one. At least that one talked about specific legislation and only targeted Wall Street. I'm happy it doesn’t quote from Wikipedia or “documentaries” and opinions are dropped (overall). But the poor writing style still dominates this list. There isn't any real improvement from the first and in fact, this one is a little worse.

If you want to see “A+” work, go here. It is well written, well researched, and focused on Wall Street and the financial sector. That is the message the media needs to be reporting and the movement should be getting behind.