I have my first session with a therapist tomorrow. I’ve been to a therapist before, but this is the first one with a new therapist. If you couldn’t tell from most of my posts on Tumblr, I have issues that need to be worked out.
To be honest, I feel like my short-term issues might be over with. I don’t want to jinx it and I have had a feeling before in which I thought I was “over” something but it came back with a vengeance. But I feel happy and content. Not just the temporary happiness I have felt in the past month, but a genuine feeling that things are okay. I had a bit of a revelation last night as I was biting my nails during the Super Bowl. It really gave me some peace of mind. It reinforced the good in my life that I was trying to convince myself didn’t exist. The negative things I was feeding myself could no longer stand up. It was like finding the perfect counter-argument against every single stupid conservative argument ever made and getting them to shut up for life.
I still have a long way to go before my problems are solved. But I hope to gain the tools to fix my life and make it the way I want it, not the way my stupid social anxieties have made it. I’ll have to see if this feeling of peace and “overness” is permanent before I bury some hatchets. But I hope that will be soon.
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