"Stating the obvious, Assuming you’re an idiot"

I’m usually a cool cat. Unless, of course, I misplace a check. Then I breakdown faster than an American automobile.

But one thing that will drive me up a freakin’ wall is the “stating the obvious, assuming you’re an idiot” comment. What do I mean? Take yesterday.

Part of my job has me transferring animal tissue (from companies doing various medical/pharmaceutical testing) from the client’s original packaging to our own packaging. Usually, they use similar packing bags that are easy to cut open and transfer. But this company had to be special and put things in plastic jars. You don’t have to cut them open like with the bags (most of the times, which is a lot harder with hard plastic), but there is no need to store rat fetuses (the size of an average paper clip) in a big jar. It is like storing a tic-tac in the Empire State Building, and then filling it two-thirds of the way with formaldehyde. At least that is better than cramming a jar full of tissue and not getting it out and resorting to cutting the damn jar.

And just to be random, inside some of the jars, the tissue was in a small cloth sack. Why? Who knows. The sack was too big to slide out of the jar, and the cloth sack rubbing up against the sharp edge of the jar opening made it hard for the sack to come out even if it was about the right side. So I just grabbed the stupid sack out of the jar (no hard task) and placed it into the bag.

Now this is where the comment comes in. My co-worker tells me that “I don’t need to pull it out” and that I should just let it fall out naturally. What the hell was the purpose of that? I KNOW I don’t NEED to pull it out and that it SHOULD just fall out, but clearly it wasn’t coming out no matter how much I shake it (Cue “That’s what she said!”). Does he want me to sit around for 10 minutes, violently shaking the jar hoping the damn little bag will fall out on its own? Or should I take 10 seconds to just grab the stupid thing? Seriously, what was the point of telling me that?

Another time at work, while I was inventorying (writing down what was received), all of the bags were leaking. So I found these old bags that we don’t use anymore and put the leakers in them, so they stay dry until we need to transfer them into permanent bags. My other co-worker come to me and says “We don’t need to put them in bags unless they are leaking.”

Well no fucking kidding! You think I’m doing this for shits and giggles? I’ve inventoried for years and have never put all the bags into temp bags, so clearly I KNOW this! You didn’t see the soaked cardboard box, the hundreds of paper towels, or notice to horrible smell of formalin (10% Formaldehyde)? If I’m using the temp bags reserved for leakers, then the bags MUST be leaking. It’s like saying “You don’t need to use the urinal unless you only need to pee”. THAT’S WHY I CHOSE THE URINAL, BECAUSE I ONLY NEED TO PEE! This was the same person who thought she had a rare misprint of a coin because she didn’t know who the person was on it, not just that she didn’t know who was on the coin. Logic!

I guess I can give my co-workers the benefit of the doubt. I guess the first person thought I was wasting time physically removing ALL of the cloth sacks when some of them could easily fall out (he did point out a dumbass move on my part of trying to cut open a jar to get some hard to reach tissue when I could (and have done before) just add some formalin and swish it around). And to my second co-workers credit, it is unusual for that many bags to be leaking, so it may have looked odd for me to be putting so many bags in temp bags.

But the most inexcusable comment came from my mom. I love her, but what she said was really stupid.

My throat was sore and I felt like I had something in the back of my throat that I was constantly choking on. I looked into the mirror and saw that my uvula seemed a bit large. I told my mom, “I think my uvula is swollen.” Her response, “No. That’s the thing in the back of your throat”.

…

NO KIDDING! THAT IS WHY I SAID I CALLED THE THING IN THE BACK OF MY THROAT THAT IS SWOLLEN MY ‘UVULA’!!! BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS, MY ‘UVULA’!

Really, what kind of response is that? Instantly dismiss what I said because she assumed I was wrong?

“Hey mom! My foot fell off!”

“No. That’s the thing at the end of your leg”

I think this clip summarizes everything:

Source: http://www.phelous.com/node/389