We can't leave because our energy bills are too high. Let's call Mike Slocumb!

I’m going to return to my roots and complain about commercials.

There is one for some energy company. A husband and wife are forced to stay inside their home FOREVER because their electric bills are too high and can’t afford to go out. After looking up another provider, they realize they could switch over and save tons of money.

Why can’t they leave their house (the guy said “I’m getting cabin fever”)? Do they work from home? There are plenty of things you can do outside the house without paying (take a walk). And if they can’t afford to go out to eat, why do they have a pizza delivered by computer? Shopping for groceries and making meals your self would be cheaper. Oh of course, they can’t afford the gas to go because their rates are so high!

Wouldn’t staying at home and constantly using electricity be more expensive than going out for a walk? They use a freakin’ computer to order a pizza and might work from home. Isn’t that a waste of electricity? I get the message: “Our prices are lower!” But geeze, make some sense.

One of my favorites has to be for the Mike Slocumb Personal Injury Law Firm. Think of every Personal Injury Law Firm commercial, and multiply the camp value by 100.

Here is the typical scenario:

I’m the head of an evil Insurance Company! You want us to pay your hospital bills after someone ran a red light and hit you and you’re clearly covered by our insurance? Don’t make me laugh! HA HA HA HA HA! What are you going to do about it? We have trillions of dollars at our disposal to bleed you dry! Who is representing you? M- M- M- Mike Slocumb? <some sort of electro-gong noise> We’ll settle! <he craps his pants and curls in the fetal position>

This lawyer is sooooo good, he doesn’t even need to sue. His name is enough to make the insurance companies squirm.

And how could this get any cheesier? They have William Shatner.

Apparently, there are a lot law firms around the country that use nearly identical commercials, because this one from Tulsa, is JUST LIKE the one here in DC.