My "Dick Theory of Middle East Diplomacy"

Ok, Imagine this:

You own property, a couple hundred acres. If someone trespasses on your property and starts building a house you have a right to defend your land, right?

Well, according to the US and Israel, the person trespassing and building the house has the right to defend themselves. Ass-Backwards logic used by conservatives, the Israeli settlements in Palestinian lands constitutes “the right to defend yourself”. How does that work out? If an army invades another country, you should expect some bullets flying back at you. These settlements are highly antagonizing to Palestinians, and the world at large. Why would Israel continue to anger the people that have sworn to wipe them off the earth?

God.

God is the reason. Israel believes that God gave them this land to be a Jewish nation, as promised in the Bible (Actually the British gave it to the Jews after World War II with the land they took from the Ottoman Empire after World War I). When people believe fervently that God has given them a pass to act like assholes, they are going to act like assholes. Even before the creation of Israel, some incidents occurred between the Jewish minority and Muslim majority. Gee, do you think a massive influx of Jews into the region is going to be a good thing???

(In my opinion, I could be dead wrong) To Palestine and the Arab-Muslim world, Israel is viewed as a form of European colonialism. I think they are sick of that by now…

One problem of the whole “right to defend yourself” is this: when does it end? The whole eye for an eye thing doesn’t work when someone is attacked that had nothing to do with the previous injustice. One action was the response of another action which was the response of another action which was the response of another action and so on and so forth.

Israel is like this: There is a neighborhood that did not want somebody to move in. This person fought tooth and nail with the homeowners association and the legal system to get his home in the neighborhood. Now everyone is upset with this guy and they really hate him. They do attack him but he is able to fend them off and the police are on this guy’s side. If you are the new homeowner, what do you do?

A)    Be nice. Don’t step on any toes. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Earn respect.

B)    Be a dick. Leave flaming bags of dog doo on their front porches. Play loud music. Steal their newspapers.

If you chose ‘B’, you would be Israel. Attacking your neighbors when they don’t like you over ‘a hunch’, doesn’t win friends. So Israel, stop being a dick.