Urge to kill...Rising!

Let me just say this…

I have been recently informed by an anonymous person that I have bashed Taylor Swift twice in two recent posts. I don’t want to say who that was, to protect their privacy. Anyway, my sister tells me that I have bashed Taylor Swift two times already. Let me explain.

I don’t know if I can say that I really hate her per se. It doesn’t help her that her music is constantly played and repeated on the radio. I can listen to a song I really like many times and still love it. Hearing a song that you find average at best over and over and over again makes you hate it. This leads you to hate that artist. But really, that is not the major reason why I detest Taylor Swift.

I hate what she represents: Country Music has become trashy pop. When I think ‘Country’, I think of Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, Tex Ritter, or that guy that was a stupid running gag on Family Guy.

Country Music is shit. I said in a previous post that country music was just horny men and women complaining about said men. That is so true. About 75% of male country music is some guy gets a woman way out of his league. Also, the romance is only based on looks. Even if the song isn’t just about horny man falls in love with hot tan blonde, the guy somehow makes it trashy.

Take “Water”¹ by Brad Paisley for example. It is about his “love affair with water” since childhood. I think EVERYONE likes water, as we need it to live, but let’s move on.

 Imagine me with this face as I say that last line.

The first verse has him like playing with water as a three year old. Ok, no problems. Most three year olds like water. Go on.

The next verse has him talk about when he was older (9 or 13?) and being mocked by his friends for being too afraid to jump into the local swimmin’ hole. I don’t know how that is a pleasant memory of water, but that is nothing for what is to come.

The next verse is about him on spring break. At a wet t-shirt contest. Women “about to be sprayed, with water”. Somehow this is still about water. Then he says perhaps the most, asshole, douchiest thing in the most asshole, douchiest voice possible: “Let ‘er [the water] go boys!” What a fucking Pig. The song keeps rolling downhill as the last verse is about him and his girlfriend skinny dipping. No amount of sex can take the horny out of this dick.

You think that song was bad? This next song makes me feel dirty. Just thinking about makes me feel dirty. I can’t say the title of this song: 

“Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off” 

I feel like my soul is filthy just from typing it. Hold on, I need to take another shower.

Some pig sings about how funny it is when his wife/girlfriend can’t hold her Tequila and starts taking off her clothes, making a complete ass of herself. Garbage, pure garbage. I leave my work area and head to the bathroom if I don’t have my iPod with me. This is the worst piece of shit I have ever listened to.

I'm sorry for all the swearing. I actually didn't expect to get this angry from writing this post.

 I've never seen this movie, or know the context, but the line, "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore!" really sums up my feelings right about now.

Moving on, I just love what this contributor wrote on the ultra-conservative National Review site:

“In my review I remarked that these are the "red state" voters. They are family-oriented, take morality seriously, go to church, join the military, and listen to country music. They strongly believe that no man is obligated to obey the edicts of a government that violates his moral conscience.”

With the ass-hats mentioned above, you cannot, in all decency claim that anyone who listens to Country music is “family-oriented” and “take[s] morality seriously”. If he meant Classic Country music, then I apologize. (This was written in 2006, before most of these songs. I am sure, however, that the music was the same back then.)

The other ~25% of male country music is “Some man gets crapped-on by life”. The songs aren’t bad but they’re all the same. You hear one, you hear ‘em all. Repeating them, like I said before, doesn't help.

Female country music also sucks. Again, it’s not Country music, it’s Pop. It’s just mushy love songs, but because there’s a banjo or fiddle somewhere, it’s a Country song! “Whine, whine, whine! The Guy’s a jerk!”. “Moan, moan, moan! Our love is forbidden!”. “Bitch, bitch, bitch! He won’t commit!”. God. Awful.

One thing that both male and female “Country” singers do is sing about how great it is to be “country”! “Let’s keep perpetuating those stereotypes, boys/girls!” Besides, how many of these “artists” actually grew up in wretched poverty in the middle of nowhere, and continue to live that way? They may live in Tennessee, but they still live in mansions!

 Pictured: Humble Living. Was the actual house of "Country" music "Artist" Keith Urban. He is from New Zealand and is married to Nicole Kidman

As you can see, I hate Modern Country music. I hate the sleaziness, I hate the mushy romance, I hate the overall phoniness of Modern Country music. Taylor Swift became popular from American Idol for God’s sake. She is a Pop star, admit it! So that is why I hate Taylor Swift.

¹I refuse to italicize these songs. I will only italicize worthy songs, books, movies. I might forget, so don’t take offense if I forget to italicize Star Wars or something you like.