My observations on radio stations:
Classic Rock: Songs you hear in a trailer for a Seth Rogen/”Bromance” movie. Only #1 songs are played, even if the artist has 500 other good songs.
Mix: Songs you thought were left in their respective decade. Should be renamed “Disco and Hootie and the Blowfish”. (This station is the one that plays Christmas music from November to January).
Sports Radio: Men who live in sports bars and know more about a sport than the pro athletes or coaches. A team’s ability is only judged based on their last game played.
News: 30 second stories are repeated every hour. If there is ever a breaking news story, audio from a television will be played (“Well look at that” has no meaning for a radio listener).
Modern Country: A) Horny men and B)women complaining about horny men, make up most songs. Really, Taylor Swift is pop, not country. Apparently, only five artists have produced three songs each and only within the last six months.
Pop: Kill me now.
Traffic: You can play the same recording every day and it would still apply to the current traffic situation. I don’t know who Father Hurley is, but I would not like to have that boulevard named after me…
Political Talk Radio: We are either becoming Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia.
Christian: You’re going to Hell, deal with it! While you wait, enjoy this schmaltzy music.
NPR: Cure for insomnia.
Regular talk radio: Men talking about women, farts, drinking, sports, and porn.
At least it’s better than silence.
!!! That impersonation was spot-ON! Between the two of us, we could make a whole fake NPR show one day and spoof people. That would be great...
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