Surely you can't be serious...

 

 http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/11/29/obit.leslie.nielsen/index.html?hpt=C1

I hate 'Glee'

I don't get this show. I haven't seen a single episode, but I know I'll hate it. I have better ways of wasting an hour; watching paint dry, eating glass shards, master...ing my painting skills...

Nearly every online reviewer had some stupid 'Glee' ad before the video. Darn it, I want to watch the Nostalgia Critic's "My Pet Monster" review, not an ad for 'Glee'!

From what I understand, the basic "plot" is this: a group of misfits from different cliques spend a saturday in detention, they open their souls to each other and become friends. Wait, thats the plot of The Breakfast Club. Sorry. The plot of 'Glee' is a group of misfits from different cliques join the High School Glee club while some bitch of a cheerleading coach has an unhealthy obsession to destroy them. And for no reason, everyone breaks into song and sings songs from popular artists and people mistake them for real artists. Is this the TV version of "High School Musical"?

Well, conglaturation 'Glee'. You just combined two things I absolutely hate: musicals and high school drama (to be fair, South Park: The Movie was good).

Geeze, what the hell would my life look like if it were 'Glee'?

Geeze! Look at that belly!

I'm sorry you had to see that...

My "Dick Theory of Middle East Diplomacy"

Ok, Imagine this:

You own property, a couple hundred acres. If someone trespasses on your property and starts building a house you have a right to defend your land, right?

Well, according to the US and Israel, the person trespassing and building the house has the right to defend themselves. Ass-Backwards logic used by conservatives, the Israeli settlements in Palestinian lands constitutes “the right to defend yourself”. How does that work out? If an army invades another country, you should expect some bullets flying back at you. These settlements are highly antagonizing to Palestinians, and the world at large. Why would Israel continue to anger the people that have sworn to wipe them off the earth?

God.

God is the reason. Israel believes that God gave them this land to be a Jewish nation, as promised in the Bible (Actually the British gave it to the Jews after World War II with the land they took from the Ottoman Empire after World War I). When people believe fervently that God has given them a pass to act like assholes, they are going to act like assholes. Even before the creation of Israel, some incidents occurred between the Jewish minority and Muslim majority. Gee, do you think a massive influx of Jews into the region is going to be a good thing???

(In my opinion, I could be dead wrong) To Palestine and the Arab-Muslim world, Israel is viewed as a form of European colonialism. I think they are sick of that by now…

One problem of the whole “right to defend yourself” is this: when does it end? The whole eye for an eye thing doesn’t work when someone is attacked that had nothing to do with the previous injustice. One action was the response of another action which was the response of another action which was the response of another action and so on and so forth.

Israel is like this: There is a neighborhood that did not want somebody to move in. This person fought tooth and nail with the homeowners association and the legal system to get his home in the neighborhood. Now everyone is upset with this guy and they really hate him. They do attack him but he is able to fend them off and the police are on this guy’s side. If you are the new homeowner, what do you do?

A)    Be nice. Don’t step on any toes. Don’t draw attention to yourself. Earn respect.

B)    Be a dick. Leave flaming bags of dog doo on their front porches. Play loud music. Steal their newspapers.

If you chose ‘B’, you would be Israel. Attacking your neighbors when they don’t like you over ‘a hunch’, doesn’t win friends. So Israel, stop being a dick.

Not-zi's

If you have read my blog, you know I don’t like labels; “Elite”, “Activist Judge”, “Country Music”. I don’t like it when a complex issue is simplified to a one word sound bite. This is most apparent in the 24 Hour News Punditocracy when ideologues settle for name calling instead of informed debate.

Recently, Chairman of Fox News Chairman Roger Ailes had some angry words about NPR. NPR recently fired Juan Williams for claiming that he felt uneasy about seeing people dressed in Muslim garb at airports and on airplanes.¹  Here is what Ailes said,

They are, of course, Nazis. They have a kind of Nazi attitude. They are the left wing of Nazism. These guys don't want any other point of view. They don't even feel guilty using tax dollars to spout their propaganda. They are basically Air America with government funding to keep them alive.

First of all, Stop claiming you are ‘Fair and Balanced’ Fox, because you obviously are not. Fox gave Juan a $2 million three year contract because Fox thinks it needs to fight a war on liberalism.

Secondly, stop calling everyone you disagree with a ‘Nazi’. Ails has apologized to the Anti-Defamation League (a Jewish lobby group against discrimination)² for his use of the word ‘Nazi’. I am so sick and tired of seeing a Hitler mustache on Bush and Obama (as Jon Stewart said, “Why not a Stalin mustache? It’s like Super Mario’s, but with Wario’s personality”). Nazi’s are hate filled people who tried and continue to try to murder those they deem racially inferior. Political Correction is not the same as Nazism. I think it was stupid to fire Juan Williams, but I don’t know how that makes everyone at NPR a Nazi. People who have suffered at the hands of actual Nazi’s don’t like that word thrown around meaninglessly. It makes their suffering more trivial. One sign at the "Rally" (Before attacking NPR, Ailes attacked Jon Stewart) highlights my point: "Hitler was Hitler".

On a lighter note, talking about Nazi’s, there is a label, or more or less a phrase, that drives me up a wall: “Battle of the Bulge”. It is often used to describe controlling weight loss in the media. To think that the sacrifice the Allies gave in 1944-1945 to stop a last ditch attempt by the Nazi’s into retaking Western Europe has become synonymous with lazy Americans trying to lose weight is appalling. 19,000 American men died in that battle. It was the bloodiest battle of the war. It is not the same as people who let themselves go and are trying fad diets.

 

 

It is their memory you dishonor every time you use the Battle to refer to weight loss.

                                                                 

¹In my opinion, he shouldn’t have been fired. It was his opinion and I’m sure many good people share his opinion. It doesn’t help when the media fills our heads with negative stereotypes. If a Muslim man threatens to beat his wife in the US, it’s news. However if a Christian man does the same thing, nobody cares.

²The Anti-Defamation League can overreact a little now and then too. They actually sued a Rabbi for his criticism of Israel claiming it was anti-Semitic. I do give them a big thumbs up for supporting the “Ground Zero Mosque”.

Why do I even care about her?

In the Washington Post today, there were a few excerpts from Sarah Palin's book America by Heart. Two I thought were priceless:

Sarah hates talentless wannabes: "Did you ever wonder where the producers of 'American Idol' come up with the seemingly endless supply of people who can't sing but are deluded enough to get up in front of a national television audience and screech out a song anyway? ... These self-esteem-enhanced but talent-deprived performers eventually learn the truth." Really? See my previous post.

On Murphy Brown (the character played by Candice Bergen from late 80s early 90s TV show Murphy Brown. Her character gave birth out of wedlock on the show.): "Given the choice of role models between Bristol and Murphy Brown, I choose Bristol." Who wouldn't choose the irresponsible, uninformed, reckless teenage girl over the strong, independent and intelligent woman to be a better role model?

I really need to stop taking her seriously and think of her as a comedian. I think I know why the world is going to end in 2012; she will be elected president...

Hurricane Bristol

 (I should make another apology, to Jimmy Fallon. I have not really watched a lot of his performances so I cant really say he is horrible. The few sketches I have seen, he did ruin. My criticisms have been the rehashing of other people's complaints. He came up with the title of this blog post on his show)

Dancing with the “Stars” proves so much about the dangers of direct democracy and America in general.

Direct Democracy: This is when the people vote on laws directly, instead of electing representatives to then vote on laws. The problem with direct democracy is that people vote on laws directly. First, people over-all are not informed enough on certain issues to make reasonable decisions. Second, people are easily swayed by emotions, so things like “showing images of bloody fetuses to sway abortion” makes people forget about common sense and throw reason to the wind. Finally, people are selfish and short-sighted, only thinking of themselves and not always the common good. California has experimented with direct democracy by putting most issues like taxes and spending to a vote by the public. The result: a huge deficit and debt as people routinely voted for tax cuts (or opposed tax hikes) while voting for more spending in healthcare, education, and other social services. A classic example of “the tragedy of the commons”. We need politicians to make those decisions for us. They should be more informed to make those choices and votes.

Most people who watch Dancing with the “Stars” know very little about dancing. This is why we have the judges; three people who are very knowledgeable on dancing. Unfortunately, the masses also vote, and through some stupid calculations, can outweigh the judge’s votes. This is how untalented media whores like Bristol Palin has made it this far. She has constantly been ranked at the bottom but has made it to the finals, beating out much more talented people. This brings me to my next point:

Popularity contest: All throughout School, life has been a popularity contest. The popular kids who are dumb as a brick win the elections and then spend the class budget on balloons for the first dance. In the real world, the a-hole who sucks up to the boss gets the promotion, even if he can’t even button his own shirt. Dancing with the “Stars” is a popularity contest; talent is not required. Bristol Palin is coasting by simply because her stupid bitch of a mother has a cult following. Bristol can now advocate two things; “Have unprotected sex and get famous!” and “Having a famous name will make you succeed, despite your lack of effort or skills!”

Some lame conservative radio commenter’s with a Palin fetish have found that ABC does not verify your email address when registering to vote. You can seriously put in something@nothing.com and it will accept it (as Microsoft Word has done).

You know what? I think it is good that voter turnout for presidential elections is about 50%. That means that the half of Americans that do care are voting and the other half that don’t care don’t vote. People think that voting is a joke as in with Dancing with the “Stars” and American Idol. Compulsory voting in real elections will get us people like Bristol Palin and Sanjaya Malakar.

We should all vote next week against Bristol. Do what those losers without a life do, stuff the ballot box. GET HER OFF THE SHOW! Some might think I have an unhealthy vendetta against her (like how people have an unhealthy devotion to her). Because of what she represents, this is not unhealthy. It is our duty to take down these people and reduce them to the crap in which they are. They are destroying America, now let us destroy them.

Geeze, who put a bee in my bonnet?

An Apology

I owe someone an apology. A few posts ago in a rant about the radio, I called NPR a “cure for insomnia” because it is so boring. To be honest, I had never actually listened to NPR on my own free will (a few clips were played in some college classes).

My impressions came from Jon Stewart on the Daily Show and their lackluster presentation (compared to Fox News).

However, today I remembered that my iPod is also a radio. So instead of listening to the radio playing at work or the same music on my iPod, I choose the radio. The first station it picked up was NPR. I loved it.

It was refreshing to hear adults speaking with their indoor voices on deficit reduction. To those pundits who claim that NPR is some liberal garbage, you are doing a huge disservice to the public (obviously, the pundits don’t want you to leave their show to listen to NPR). I thought it was well balanced and the moderator/host of a show would give equal attention to each person and allow them to express their view.

Some of the callers were a little odd (one woman called up asking why we would financially support Muslim nations when Islam’s ultimate goal was world domination).

 *Why didn't I think of putting this in sooner?*

Fortunately, the crack-pot was cut-off (proof of liberal bias!) and the topic was steered to the more legitimate question of “Should we continue to financially support countries like Pakistan with taxpayer money when we ourselves are feeling the pinch?” and “How would budget cuts affect the military and the War on Terror?”.

Yes, some of the programming was a bit dry; an hour of women talking about a vegetarian Thanksgiving dinner feels a lot longer than it did. But mostly I felt like I was informed of current events and my intelligence was not insulted by name calling and the simplification of complex issues.

I still stand by my video I made making fun of NPR from my previous blog because I find it so darn funny.

So, NPR; I’m sorry. It was not as bad as I had said. Most may find it a bit slow, but only because the 24 Hour News-Pundit cycle has made us think yelling and screaming is the only way to discuss politics.

I don't get it (New, more serious topic)

I will never get “The Vagina Monologues”. As a man, I guess it is against my biology to understand why my college felt the need to have this play every semester.

I will never understand why man-on-woman rape is wrong but woman-on-woman rape is “good rape”.

I will never understand why a vagina needs a million different nick-names.

I will never understand why it is empowering for women to have a vagina but yet I am a chauvinistic, misogynistic, pig when I am proud to have a penis.

I am a man. I don’t care. You might be a woman. It doesn’t matter to me. You are a human being worthy of respect. I do understand that men and women are biologically different and their “parts” serve different purposes. I do understand that society has created a certain set of guidelines in how both genders should act.

Maybe we need to stop shouting at each other over what our differences are. Maybe this is why I and many other men don’t understand the ‘Monologues’. How can you complain that people only see you as a woman and then say, ‘Hey? Look at me! I’m a woman!’ How are women going to break the glass ceiling when they keep shouting “I AM A WOMAN! I AM DIFFERENT FROM YOU! TREAT ME DIFFERENTLY!”?

How about, “I AM A COMPETENT HUMAN BEING. JUDGE ME BASED ON MY INTELLIGENCE, SKILLS, AND PERFORMANCE!”

This is how people like Phyllis Schlafly sprung up. Mainstream America got fed up with feminism turning into a “cult of the Woman-Pipes” and didn’t want ‘he’ and ‘she’ changed to ‘zhe’ or ‘ze’ or whatever. Far-Left, meet Far-Right!

Please, stop focusing on how we are so different. I have a penis. You have a vagina. The world keeps on spinning. Let’s move on.

I feel bad that I may be alienating some of my friends and family by writing this. I truly respect their opinions and would feel bad if I for any reason really upset them with this post. I am sorry, but this is my opinion, my point of view. I felt so passionate about this that I got out of bed and turned my computer back on just to write this. Like I said, as a man, maybe I will just never, ever understand this. I don’t think my ignorance can ever be absolved.

For those of you participating in the ‘Monologues’, good luck and have fun.

I don't get it.

I really do not get these E-Trade commercials. You know, the ones with the talking babies.

What is so funny? A baby is talking about stock trading with an adult voice. And? How many people with disposable income in this recession are going to run to E-Trade and start buying stock because of these stupid babies? (I think they lost money last year but I can't tell. Are profits down by $1.5 Billion or are they losing $1.5 Billion?).

These commercials are just stupid. Maybe I'm not smart enough to understand them.

(Video won't upload. Go Here)

At least the're better than GoDaddy's commercials

You do NOT want to see me re-enact a GoDaddy commercial (Maybe later...)

My #2 is different from your #2!

I know this issue isn’t really important and I know there are more important things in life to complain about, but it’s my blog darn it, and I’m going to get this out.

I know that the Super Mario Bros. 2 released in North America is not the ‘real’ SMB 2 and that Japan had the ‘real’ game.

A little history from Dr. Wik E. Pedia: Super Mario Brothers was released in North America with the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) in 1986 by the Japanese game company Nintendo. To put it mildly, the game was a success¹. Because it was so successful, a sequel was planned. In the same year, Super Mario Brothers 2 was made and released in Japan. However, the North American Division of Nintendo thought it was too hard and that it was just a modified version of the original.

Nintendo of America did like the looks of Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic, and converted it into a Mario game and released it in North America in 1988 as Super Mario Bros. 2. The original game Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic was released in Japan in 1987 and the North American Mario version was released in Japan as Super Mario Bros. USA in 1990. The ‘real’ Japanese Super Mario Bros. 2 was packaged in Super Mario All Stars for the Super Nintendo (SNES) in 1993. Confused yet?

So that is how we have two different games under the same name. Or one game under two names. Or, wait, how does this go?

 Now that you mention it, I do see some similarities

Anyway, what bothers me are the little smart-alecks that feel the need to feel important and remind us that “The North American version is not the real one!” Go to hell. It’s like those little assholes that try to tell me George Washington was not the first President because they read it on a placemat. (FYI, as defined by the Constitution under Article Two, he was the first president of the USA. The nation and the powers associated with the office did not exist before Washington; therefore, no one before him was “President of the United States of America”).

Getting back on topic, North American SMB 2 is the real SMB 2. We grew up with it under that name. It was sold with the intention of being the second game. Also, MOST OF THE WORLD knows it as SMB 2. The Japanese version was only released in Japan and the one we know in the US was also known as SMB 2 in North America, Europe, and Australia. AKA, the rest of the freaking world that has a video game console! (Sorry Africa, South America, and rest of Asia, you don’t deserve it). I know I don’t like the “majority rule” argument, but really, most people don’t live in Japan.

Proof of Evolution

Also, I like the refitted game better. I have played the original Japanese SMB 2, and the original criticism holds up; it’s too hard and it’s just the same game with a few tweaks. Hell, it even has the same music. The North American, I mean, World Outside Japan version is an entirely different game, with different looks, music, game play, enemies, etc. I like how each game released for the NES were very different from each other. Mario 2 was the exotic game in the trilogy that was rented from Wegman’s every other weekend. Each game is a unique experience. The Lost Levels looks like a mod someone made to frustrate some gamer online: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in6RZzdGki8

 Oh Come on! That's Photoshopped, right?

So please, all you annoying trolls out there; Super Mario Brothers 2, known outside Japan, is Super Mario Brothers 2. Whether or not it was originally intended as the real sequel, it is in the hearts of millions of gamers, so shut up.

¹It probably helped that Super Mario Brothers was packed in with most NES's. I'm sure Blank Cartridge would have been a hit had it been bundled in with the NES. Super Mario Brothers 3 should technically be the best selling game as it was not sold with the NES.